Front Row Dress Circle

This year has marked the 10th anniversary of Big Brother in the UK and you would have expected that the producers could have come up with a much better show than has been foisted on BB fans this year.

They didn’t. And viewers have tuned out in millions – the show has lost over half it’s audience compared to previous years having been hugely disappointed with the current crop of oddballs and non-runners. BB11 is looking like it won’t be happening next year. But why has such a popular annual event for television audiences failed so dismally…?

I will tell you why I have tuned out – too much variation from the original theme of just placing some normal everyday people in the house to see how their characters emerge. The days of Helen, Jade, Science, Derek, Nikki, Tracey, Brian and even the appalling Charley were more interesting than the bunch of boring oddities they have assembled this year. One weirdo or token gay to make things different – yes – but a whole house full…?

They have gone for people who are all show and no substance and sacrificed the personality aspect. They are not interesting or fun, they are not nice to look at or listen to, they are jealous, spiteful and vindictive. They are too desperate for instant fame – all wannabe’s looking to walk in the shoes of previous housemates who WERE entertaining. And I think it is safe to say that bleached bimbos with fake balloon boobs are never, ever interesting beyond the first few minutes of novelty aspect.

This 10th anniversary show has been a huge let down – the housemates just are not interesting or even fun to watch. I gave up trying to work out what that weird Russian female boxer is all about…

Popularity: 60% [?]

I have always been a great fan of the legendary Judy Garland. Those who know her only as the young Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz should treat themselves to a recording of hers – preferably a live recording – to really get a true appreciation of just how phenomenal a performer she was on stage. If I could suggest one in particular I would say go for Judy Garland – Live at Carnegie Hall from April 23 1961. Absolutely mind blowing.

Of course Judy was just as well known for her chaotic private life; her drug addictions and alcoholism often threatened to kill her long before she died in London at the age of 47. See a photo of her around that time and it is incredibly hard to believe she was that young when she died – she looked more like 77. But enough of that…

Judy’s amazing onstage presence has been recreated by the brilliant American entertainer Jim Bailey and is performing as Judy in London at the moment. To see Jim as Judy (pictured) is to really believe the woman still lives. Even though he does not have a name that suggests showbusiness razzamatazz, Jim has been impersonating famous legends for well over 40 years and has perfected Judy so well that even her own daughter, Liza Minnelli, was deeply moved by his interpretation of her mother.

Jim has also performed as Barbra Streisand and I first saw him on an episode of Here’s Lucy when I was a child in the 70′s. He appeared in the show impersonating famous comedienne Phyllis Diller and was said to have gotten his big break from that appearance.

Judy Garland always claimed that London, and Londoners, had a special place in her heart – eventually it was where she died. Listen to her singing A Foggy Day and you can hear the love in her voice for the city. I am sure that she will be welcomed back with open arms after so long – 40 years to be exact – and we have Jim Bailey to thank for bringing her ‘home’ again.

Popularity: 58% [?]

Years ago people used to pay money to stare at what we called ‘freaks of nature’ . We spared no thought for their feelings – it was assumed they had none – and we expected them to be grateful that we paid them any attention at all. That was when such displays were part of travelling circuses, now you have the modern day equivalent such as Britain’s Got Talent with it’s very own freak-show star in Susan Boyle.

Say what you will but that is how this poor woman has been treated and now, as I predicted weeks ago would happen, Susan has finally crumbled under the enormous pressure and been assessed under the Mental Health Act. She was admitted to The Priory clinic under police escort during the night.

I will not go into the details of her collapse but I will say a few things about the way Susan Boyle has been treated in the seven weeks since she became a worldwide sensation. She has been treated like a freak, and if you do not like that word then tough. Producers of BGT found this unsophisticated, not-too-bright lady and excitedly held her up for all to see as would a child finding a ten pound note on the beach.

The world was stunned because such a beautiful voice came out of a plain looking face – she was cruelly dubbed the ‘hairy angel’ because she did not pluck her eyebrows and patronising celebrities such as Demi Moore wanted to be her friend because she was good publicity and certainly no threat to their own cosmetically enhanced reflection in the mirror…

If you doubted her ability to cope you were shot down; her ‘fans’ expected great things – tours, recordings – the media had her all but winning BGT. Her ‘fans’ expected too damn much. When the cracks in this woman’s emotional state started appearing last week the paying side-show audience took a shocked step backwards as it began to dawn on the gawping public that Susan Boyle WAS what she only ever claimed to be; an unassuming woman with learning difficulties who lived a sheltered life and just loved to sing.

The public did not want Susan to make the transformation from ugly duckling to graceful swan even if she wanted to – her appeal lay in her matronly appearance. The same image and odd persona that caused her to endure a lifetime of unkind comments and teasing from local kids now combined to make her famous, no wonder she is so distressed and confused.

BGT is now blaming Susan’s breakdown on the public; “public backlash lost Susan the show – it is better for her that she came second”...says Piers Morgan. There was no public backlash Mr Morgan, it was your own show which turned against it’s biggest star. I think it is safe to say that BGT manipulated the voting so that Susan would not win – don’t be so foolish to say the producers did not see last nights events coming…they decided she would win and then decided it would be better if she did not.

Susan should have been mentored, she should have been cared for. The public need to back off and NOT demand more than she is able to give. Her lack of looks were celebrated while her lack of IQ was conveniently ignored because ‘it is not nice to treat someone of low-intelligence differently just because of the way they look’ – but I am sure PT Barnum would be proud…

She does not need to be a worldwide phenomenon, we do not need her to tour and churn out CD’s for public consumption – she needs to be taken home and looked after. The world can find itself another idol.

Popularity: 61% [?]