Front Row Dress Circle

I’m not posting a picture of the weedy little moaner here, I am sure many of you caught him where he only ever seems to be these days…sitting on some tv show sofa whinging about a woman he divorced over a year ago. Petulant Peter Andre can only get tv gigs these days where he is banging on in some way or another about Katie Price, ‘his music’ (?), how he is still looking for the right girl and how he does not want her to be like Katie Price, how much better his life without Katie Price, ad nauseam.

Frankly this little man is not interesting to anyone as a guest on a tv show unless he mentions in some form his ex-wife – if he went on Mastermind his favourite subject would be Katie Price.

Now the creep is gallantly suing the mother of his children to the hilt because of some stupid remark she made about him a while back on a late night tv show that few people watch. This person who so piously promotes himself as the ultimate family man obviously cares not a fig about what these petty actions could have on his kids – suing Mummy for even more of her money – ever heard the term ‘sticks and stones’ Petey…? who really gives a toss if someone accuses you of having it off with your guru Claire – you’ve been in this industry for how many years and yet you’ve the hide of a marshmallow and in fact you are making a mockery of people who suffer REAL bullying and REAL persecution. Your ex-wife made a joke about you and you react like a cry-baby. Still, he no doubt has another one of his forgettable CD’s coming out, more cheap tat to promote and another round of that pathetic predictable tv series of his ready to roll where he will talk about about little except what Katie has said, or what the kids have said Katie has said…blah!

He is still making a career out of being the poor sod Katie Price made life so difficult for and it is now time-worn and booorrrring. He did very well out of that marriage and he is obviously not about to let go of that connection just yet. So go on, take Mummy to court – it should make for a nice bedtime story for ‘the kids’ eh dad…?

Popularity: 46% [?]

The sad news that actor Micheal Douglas has been diagnosed with Stage Four throat cancer comes at a time in his life when he has more than enough stress to cope with. By his own admission it has been ‘a very long year’ and revealed what we all know – that cancer feeds on stress and anxiety.

The actor has spent the past year dealing with his son Cameron’s drug problems and court appearances and the latest news has it that his ex-wife, Diandra, is suing him for half his earnings from his latest film where he reprises his iconic 80′s role as Gordon Gekko. Correct me if I am wrong, but when you have been divorced from a man for more than a decade you should have moved on, especially when you already received a sizeable chunk of his fortune. One would think the woman would be well set up financially for the rest of her life but we all know these Hollywood wives – they hang onto their married names (Priscilla Presley is a good example…) because they open doors long after their marriage has bitten the dust and they have bled their ex-spouse for every penny they could get. If this woman pursues the poor man throughout his illness – and she probably will – I hope every door she ever encounters again slams right back in her face.

Micheal Douglas, looking more like his dad Kirk with every passing year, has been happily married for ten years to Welsh beauty Catherine Zeta-Jones and is the dad of two young children – let’s hope he can defy the odds, which honestly are not that great, and live to see his kids grow up.

Popularity: 37% [?]

Just lately I have been seeing the name ‘Justin Bieber’ appearing in articles all over the place and I cannot work out just who on earth he is. From what I see he is young, very young in fact, he appeals to very young females and seems to have a frightening (for their parents anyway) effect on their hormonal output…

That’s him in the above picture, wearing a suit bought in the boys department of the local store – and no that’s not his glamorous Mum, that’s another person whose name is everywhere but for life of me I cannot work out who she is or what purpose she serves on this planet…Kim Kardashian. Now, I understand that wee Justin’s over-excited fans want to do a lot of very nasty things to Ms Kardashian at the moment ever since she joked about being his girlfriend…is he old enough to even have one? I’d say she would do a boy his age a lot of damage – if she could decide first whether to f**k him or feed him!

Whatever – but the teenyboppers tempers apparently went into overdrive, took her seriously and have threatened to do angry-teenybopper things to her. Oh wait – this all rings a bell now…when I was 14 I was devoted to the Bay City Rollers and, along with several million other teenage girls, was convinced I was going to marry Eric one day. He would notice me, and only me, in the audience of a concert, send a bodyguard to get me and we would meet…the rest would be history. Well it wasn’t of course but I do remember what happened when the BCR’s appeared on a tv show with Marie Osmond and the guys all claimed to have fallen in love with her…we fans all wanted her head on a tartan stick!

Justin’s fans sound seriously psycho – they even knocked his poor Mummy over in New Zealand recently while trying to meet him…these hormonal little girls don’t seem the type you’d want to mess with – and I reckon wee Justin wouldn’t want to touch them with a barge pole either…

Popularity: 43% [?]