Front Row Dress Circle

British television has produced some of the best entertainment ever seen, and continues to do so, why then can the industry not pull it together and give viewers a decent awards show anymore? last night’s Brit Awards was, in the words of mediocre compere Peter Kay, “twenty minutes of entertainment stretched over two hours…”

And he could not have been more correct and even those twenty minutes was a stretch. The two things that can really make a show like this work brilliantly is a) the host and, b) the writers. You had Peter Kay as host, one of the UK’s top comedians and yet he was let down badly by what he was given to say presentation-wise. I have to be honest and admit that Peter Kay’s appeal in the funny-stakes escapes me, I like a really dry delivery - which is what he has - but I just cannot find him funny enough to laugh at. Maybe it is because I’m not from ‘Up North’ - I have seen Micheal Parkinson almost fall out of his chair laughing at this guy, well he would wouldn’t he…?

The awards were given out to some really run-of-the-mill acts, except I guess for Lady GaGa…her stuff is starting to sound the same to me though. Unless she becomes the queen of reinvention a-la Madonna you will be hearing Poker Face type songs from her still in ten years time. Liam Gallagher - what can you say about this twat other than “grow up you imbecile”. That ‘moody, cool swaggering’ might have gone over fine when you were a young fella Liam, but now you just look like a cantankerous old twit - and as for your giggling-idiot of a wife Nicole Appleton…a has-been if ever there was a never-would-be.

The British television industry has some of the greatest comedy writers in the world - just look at Yes, Prime Minister; One Foot in the Grave; Dinnerladies…all a brilliantly varied mix of biting satire and comedic genius and yet we get productions like last night’s effort. Where are the great writers when the producers are putting these shows together! find them, use them, and get a host who can deliver the goods. And one last thing: Put Jonathon Ross out to pasture.

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